Hey... you... yeah, you... news networks across America....

Dear NBC News, ABC News, CBS News and ESPECIALLY CNN and FOX:

Guys, look-- people are dying in Afghanistan... Iraq... elsewhere.... North Korea and Iran appear to have the bomb, suggesting that they were the ones we should have worried a little more about all along.... we have a Secretary of State who's perpetually had her head up her ass, even when she was an alleged academic at Stanford.... there's starvation, disease, flooding, illiteracy, religious strife, breakthroughs in medicine to report, etc., etc.... so PLEASE....

NO MORE FUCKIN' STORIES ON THE LAME-ASSED "RUNAWAY BRIDE" CRAP!! NO ONE CARES, DESPITE YOUR BEST ATTEMPTS TO KEEP RAMMING IT DOWN OUR THROATS BECAUSE YOU NO LONGER PAY REASONABLE MONEY FOR ANYTHING RESEMBLING JOURNALISTS!

(ahem)... thank you for your attention to my request. The medication has kicked in now, and life seems better somehow. I am the new Number Two. You are Number Six. :)

Z